…you realize you ARE that hormonal pregnant Krabby Patty they’ve been warning you about.
Generally speaking, I’ve had a pretty easy pregnancy. No morning sickness, no real qualms. No real mood swings either. To this point I’ve held it together pretty steadily.
But then it hit me – a full blown head cold which smacked me upside my skull in the middle of a workday this week, and in the middle of the meeting no less. I just wanted to crawl over into the corner, stuff tissues into my nostrils until I looked like a Kleenex walrus, and be ignored for the most part. That’s when it came “my turn to talk” and all eyes turned my way.
[Usher in Mood Swing, stage right]
I was asked, “so…. what are you having???” Pregnant, bloated, stuffy, and in a foggy haze, I snapped “Well, READ MY BLOG!”
I had basically announced it here, the fact that I was having a boy… hey, anything to get you guys to read these fantastically clever Pulitzer-caliber words I spend mere minutes crafting, right? Plus I had found a week earlier, before the holiday, so it struck me as odd that people still at that point didn’t know I was having a boy. I mean, I’m the center of the universe, right? (sarcasm)
OKAY THEN, moving on…. Jen’s a raging hormonal Preggo “B” in Apartment 23.
Why didn’t I just say “hey it’s a boy!”? The question haunted me for the rest of the meeting. That simple phrase would have been just as easy to say, but that’s not the mood I was in – I literally was possessed. Quite randomly, I had finally discovered that progesterone-laden she-demon that was marinating somewhere down deep within me … in Apartment 24 right next to my spleen and down the hall from my baby boy. (*** disclaimer that Anthony will probably profess to meeting this she-devil on several occasions in the past months, though I deny any conscious participation therein.)
So there she is, warts and all – my hormonal doppelganger. Be forewarned she does exist… ready to strike without warning, push you in the mud and steal your shoes while calling your mama names. All because you asked her how she was today.