Mornings with Dave & Jen

“Superpowers” We Don’t Really Have
“Superpowers” We Don’t Really Have

“Man of Steel” opened BIG this weekend…and I bet some moviegoers (you?) think you may already have these “superpowers” from Cracked.com…not so fast, my friend:

Influencing the outcome of sporting events.  If someone told you they could make the Yankees or Giants win with their mind, you would say they’re insane.  But that’s no different from wearing a lucky jersey, or not washing your socks during the playoffs.  Let’s face it…unless you’re PLAYING (or paying them NOT to play), your ifluence is ZERO!

Communicating with inanimate objects. You’d be surprised, but a LOT of people think they can talk to a car and get it to start…this goes for slot machines, too!  

Reading omens and signs.  People want to BELIEVE the universe is trying to tell them something:  You lock your keys in your car on the way to work, and that’s supposed to be some sort of message that you shouldn’t go.

Making bad things happen by joking about them.  Like when you wake up on a sunny day, and make a joke about rain, and suddenly someone wants to blame you for ruining their picnic.  If you could REALLY control future events, you’d be using them for more important stuff.  Like casting love spells on supermodels, or making yourself a billionaire.  That would REALLY be a superpower…which is why you don’t have it.

One can dream…

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