The news came as much of a shock for Dave as it probably will for you:
Jen’s after your CASH STASH!
A new study from Jezebel show that women named Jennifer are the most likely to GOLD DIGGERS!
(No WONDER she’s always borrowing money for the “vending machine”!)
Other “gold digging” women’s names are Jessica, Michelle, Lisa, Ashley, Amanda, Melissa, Stephanie, Nicole and Angela.
Take heart, Jen fans…turns out DAVE could be arrested at any moment!
Men named Michael, David, John and Robert are most likely to be convicted of crimes!
Looks like Dave better pay that parking tickets…pronto quick!