A journey into the jungle, also known as the “baby shower”.

Labor is for wussies. (I kid!)  Forget HAVING the baby …the one true rite of passage into actual mommyhood is the baby shower… where you’re put on display and showered with bag after bag of Oooh-inducing cutsie-pie baby articles that you didn’t know you needed, plastic gadgets that you’ll never figure out until baby puts it in his mouth and you panic, and the fuzziest wuzziest blankies and towels that are so plush that you wish they’d make them in adult sizes.

I’ve got the best friends and family in the world… they really went out of their way to throw me a bash which humbled me into the ground.  I feel like I want to make an Oscar thank you speech but I’m so afraid that I’ll forget someone, so I’ll give this general shout-out.  I was NOT expecting how overwhelming it would be, sharing a day with all of those that I’ve known best throughout the years. 

 Being the busybody I am, it was tough for me to rush into my own party, only get a solid :30 seconds hugging and greeting the people there, and then have to eat quickly and place myself front and center stage for a solid hour and a half of gift-opening, with a self-imposed lack of a pee break within that time frame.

 Humbled that those same people who have been there through my history wanted to welcome my lil’ monkey into the world by showering him with, well, lots and lots of MONKEYS! 

 You see, I kinda put a little note on my registry and revealed that we like monkeys.  I also mentioned Star Wars and Ninjas (all personal preferences, bear in mind), but I suppose monkeys are something that resonate with everyone, everywhere.

 I had no idea there could be so many variations on monkey-themed baby items available – monkey onesies, monkey bibs, monkey hats, monkey booties, monkey blankies, monkey stroller toys, monkey binkies, monkey stuffed animals, monkey books (Curious George of course!), monkey washcloths… I could go on… but if it’s got a monkey on it, it’s in my baby’s closet right now.   Oh yeah, not to mention the monkey decals on the nursery wall, overlooking where the crib will be. 

 I’m fairly certain at this point that I’m setting my child up for a complex fear or hatred of primates for years to come.  “Mooommmmm….why couldn’t you have gotten me clowns or something??”

 So from here on out… I’m off the monkeys.  No more monkeys for us.  Maybe a giraffe or elephant or something, but now I’m mostly onto ninjas, Star Wars, and camouflage to add to Monkey Boi’s collection.  A nice smattering of my own interests to project onto my son, if you will.