Oh here we go, onto the fun stuff. I’ve finally “gotten” it…one of the dreaded Big 3 afflictions in the world of breastfeeding: thrush; mastitis; and mine: a blocked duct. Yep that’s right, stop squirming, I’m gonna talk about my boobs for a few minutes. I have no shame.
Today Dante turns 3 months old, and in this entire time I haven’t experienced any complications with nursing. In fact, I’ve prided myself on the fact that I’ve just made it this far without stopping or having to supplement with formula. Yay me! I set out on this journey with no goal, just thinking I would be happy that I provided my son with ultra-healthy mother’s milk for just a mere few weeks… but here I am, 3 months later… what a way to ring in his 3 Month Birthday that now being in pain at work and on the air with a blocked milk duct.
I felt it coming on this morning as I was leaving the house. There it was, a painful hard mass in my boob that hadn’t cleared after pumping, pointing to the fact that there’s a morning rush traffic back-up on the milk superhighway. Yes, stop cringing guys, it happens.
My go-to favorite mommy newsletter, Lucies List , has a fantastically funny email dedicated to this subject. New mommies I have to reiterate that you should sign up for her email list – she knows her stuff and she’s as funny as a blocked milk duct on a morning DJ…)
Anyways, with no time to do anything about it, I grabbed a boob-shaped microwaveable gel heating pad from the drawer and went on my merry painful way. The cure for a blocked duct? Heat, massage, and nursing (albeit painfully) like you normally would…although it is recommended that you try it from an acrobatic hovering position to use gravity to your advantage. Wait, what? Oookay. Mommyhood is weird.
What I didn’t realize is that having my very first blocked duct, and not giving a damn who knew about it because I was gonna whine about it all day, would be fantastic fodder with which to entertain my cohost Dave. All workplace harassment thrown right out the window, I’m sorry… my boob hurts, and I will continuously heat this pad and stick it in my bra and readjust it all day long. I will walk around with a purple heating pad sticking out of my top and one boob looking bigger than the other. Stare if you feel like it. Laugh all you want. This is reality. Mommyhood is awkward and a ball of pain and giggles.
